Last week I tuned in live from Atlanta where I was hosting a business training for my marketing team and was so excited by the final chapers of Think and Grow Rich that I was probably yelling into the phone with enthusiasm. I know many of you were experiencing the same vibe from this phenominal writing, which I am committed to continue studying along side of the other books we are reading. Which of course leads us to this week's call, the first chapter of Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch. Thank you all for the great (and emotional) discussion this week. This book has challenged many of us with our beliefs that we inherited from generations of ignorant but well-meaning people, and I'm glad it did. For many people, the first time they read it is a jarring experience. One thing I've learned in studying personal development for 20yrs is that I will not make progress by applying the same level of thinking that got me where I'm at. Time to move, my friends. See you next week with chapters 2-6.
John Lavenia
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I didn't know what to expect when I picked up this book, but jumped in just like I would any other book I've read. This was not just any other book for me. I've had the most amazing breakthrough. Something completely unexpected. I sat in bed last week reading like I always do and something stuck me while reading chapter 2. All of a sudden, so much about my life and my Self made sense to me. A million thoughts, memories, past events, phrases, sayings, cliches, etc. came rushing to me all at once. The feeling was surreal unlike anything I've ever felt in my life. I felt like I understood what it all meant. Yes, in a flash, that quickly. I sat there and wept, laughed, journaled and read. I was raised Catholic and when I was in high school I started really searing for something without really knowing it. I went to a Christian church, Mormon, some sort of deity goddess thing, Lutheran, and then back to Christian. None fulfilled me and left me asking more questions then it answered. Fifteen years ago, I quit searching all together, consciously anyway. I've had dreams for years that I'm late and searching for something but didn't know what.
I've always been attracted to the forest/woods and have just taken off and started hiking for hours even as a young child I did this. I've always felt very comfortable there. I now feel like it is very representative of my search. As I walk, I climb over down trees, through bushes and have vines and sticks get tangled around my ankles. I am frequently looking down and just in front of me negotiating where to go next. Last week, bam, I'm on a path. I'm still in the woods but I'm no longer struggling to move forward. The relief I felt was overwhelming. I enjoyed this feeling undisturbed for about 10 seconds then my brain kicked in with the negative self talk about how this wasn't real and I instantly felt nauseous. Another wave came to me in an instant, the straight and narrow, stay your course, sidestep, etc. all these different words and sayings that probably don't make sense to you just reading, but it was perfect clarity to me. The woods were still there and at any point I allowed it, my mind would try to get me back into the woods just off the path in the struggle, but this time, I had a choice. I could follow my brain which was keeping me in the struggle just off the path but distracting me from that fact by allowing me to be in a place where I am happy. I know now that with a little focus, I can simply choose to keep walking my path. I'm not sure where the path leads, but that doesn't matter because I'm on it and I know I'm here to discover who I am and create the experience.
I truly understand what it means to be grateful. I feel it on a much deeper level than I did last week. I'm a little ashamed of how I used to say I'm grateful for my home, for my kids, and the ability to work from home, etc. now, give me what I want. I'm also ashamed of the way I viewed the gift I have to offer people with my business. Previously, I looked at it as ya, it's a gift, you can learn how to make money and maybe make some changes in your life if you really want to but the bottom line is I get paid and here you go, let me know if you need anything. This "gift" that I have to offer (I now realize) is the gift for everyone to find out who they are and find their path. I don't believe there is a greater gift than that. I could go on and on about other things that came to light for me and how things have changed in my life since beginning this book, but I would like to wrap up with a dream I had the day before my breakthrough that helps keep me focused and on my path. I am at a historic hotel in the town where I live, the lights are out and I'm climbing a staircase in the dark. A voice beside me is warning me and expressing I can't do this in the dark; and my response is of course I can, it's just stairs and I can feel my way. In my ascent, there are spirits to the other side of me, great music is playing and we're all dancing. When I turn away and start going back down, everything disappears.
I belive this represents me stumbling around in the darkness looking for the light. The ghosts represent maybe my past, limiting beliefs, skeletons in my closet or the sum of them would have to be drama and lies. The dancing and the music represent what I love and happiness. The ghosts want to keep me in the darkness, in the drama; so, we dance.
Debra Bullock
An extremely grateful Extreme Book Club Member in Colorado
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